We are becoming so distracted with activities that we are losing touch with each other more and more. Life often gets in the way of those aspects that we value highly, such as Consciously Connecting with our partner. We get caught up with work and chores and forget to make space for each other. We may not choose to deliberately ignore our partner, but the concern is that it can easily become a habit if we go about our days unconsciously.
As with all precious things in life, we need to make the time and effort to preserve those things that matter most to us….like Consciously Connecting with our partner! Connecting with your loved one improves intimacy and bonding. We need to become more mindful in our day and work at maintaining a connection.
In John and Julie Gottman’s “Magic five hour week”, they talk about the importance of regular connection with your partner and recommend connecting for:
• Two minutes every weekday morning to share your plan for the day,
• Twenty minutes each day when you arrive home,
• Five minutes throughout the day to express gratitude for one another
• (At least) five minutes of daily physical affection,
• And two hours a week to get to know each other better
Here are some simple ways to maintain your connection during busy times:
Make time to connectLook at each other in the morning, hold each other, greet. Make eye contact when kissing goodbye.
When we get busy we sometimes feel like it is impossible to make time for our partner, yet the reality is that we make time for other things like social media. Although some of these things may feel relaxing, they are just a way to feel connected without the effort. Just taking five minutes to catch up with your partner can help to maintain connection.
My partner and I make time each morning and evening to meditate together, this helps us to connect and feel grounded.
I particularly like to spend a few minutes with my partner before sleeping when it is time to go to bed. Because I have not seen him all day, I like to make eye contact, I love to give him my full attention in this moment, for just five minutes, and be affectionate. I feel that it is the best moment to connect as you are done for the day, technology is off, and you are ready to rest and relax with each other.
Send a text messageWhen you are going about your day and you think of your beloved, send a quick message to let them know that you love them.
My partner and I like to do this. Messages of love are a great way to consciously connect when you are apart.
Send loving energySometimes send out loving vibes to your partner. Taking a moment to feel present to the love and affection that you feel for your partner will make you feel good, and it will help to increase the connection by enhancing your feelings when you see them, allowing you to be more affectionate towards each other.
I like to practice sending loving vibes to my beloved, it is uplifting and releases happy hormones making me feel all warm and fuzzy!
Do something tangibleIf you feel like you are missing each other due to busy schedules do something that lets them know that you are thinking of them. Leave a little love note, it will make your partner feel loved and special.
My partner and I like to write each other surprise notes on the fridge notepad! When my partner has had a busy day and is very tired, and I feel like I really need affection, I like to massage his body or feet when he goes to sleep, the physical connection helps me to feel closer to him even though he may not be present at that moment.
Give praisesGetting in touch with the gratitude and respect for your partner will increase feelings of tenderness when you are together. Tell your partner that you admire them or share with others what you love most about your partner. These energetic interactions help to infuse your togetherness with feelings of love and will make a big difference to your relationship.
This is something that I love to do. I love reminding my partner what I love about him, and show appreciation.
Making eye contact is so important, and I want to chat further about this in another blog. At least five minutes of affection a day is important too, forgetting to touch or give your partner a hug each day is just sad, and this happens a lot! Touch is so healing!
Letting your partner know that you think of them and appreciate them will deepen your connection with each other. It helps to remind them that even though there may not be enough time, they are precious and mean the world to you!
Consciously connect today!